God in His wisdom determined and decreed that singing would
be a part of the church’s worship assemblies. According to Ephesians 5:19
we should"speak to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs,
singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord." Similarly in Colossians
3:16 the Holy Spirit directs every Christian – "Let the word
of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one
another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your
hearts to the Lord." If you can
find a scripture allowing others to give as they have been prospered in your
place, or pray or partake of the Lord’s Supper for you, or listen to and apply
the sermon to their life as a substitute for you, then you might find a
Scripture that will release you from the God-directed call for you to pour out
praises and petitions to Him in worship through the avenue of singing. But let
me save you the time and effort – you won’t find Scripture authorizing anyone
to worship as a proxy in your place, and you won’t find a directive from God
giving you permission to sit as a spectator and / or critic through any of the
God- directed ways the Scriptures authorize us to approach God as we worship!
Every child of God, male and female, is directed by God to engage in singing
and thus teach and admonish one another. By the way, it is no mistake that the
verse following Colossians 3:16 says, on the heels of addressing
singing, "And whatever you do, in word or deed, do all the name of the
Lord Jesus." God deliver us from a lop- sided imbalance in singing
that insists all our songs in worship must be "traditional" or
"contemporary." The important concern is that they be spiritual,
truthful, and appropriate to sing to the Lord and to teach one another. Our
chief concern ought to be that, like every other aspect of our worship
assembly, songs and singing be heartfelt and Biblical, that is, expressing
truths taught by God in His word. And God deliver us from giving in to the
rabid pressure to "be relevant" and so concerned that worship be
"user- friendly" that we end up being more concerned that worship
assemblies please people who show up than pleasing the living God we are called
and commanded to please and offer our worship to!
One other important matter needs consideration. We often
hear, and rightfully so, that we need to practice what we preach. But to that
we ought to add we need to practice what we sing. It has been said that we can
sing a lie as easily as we can live one. The apostle Paul expressed an
important principle in 1 Corinthians 14:15 – "I will pray with the
spirit, and I will also pray with the understanding. I will sing with
the spirit, and I will also sing with the understanding." We ought to
think about what we sing, sing what we mean, and mean what we sing! My wife
confesses to (and challenges) me that a line in James Coats’ 1940 gospel song
"Where Could I Go" is difficult for her to sing – "Living
below in this old sinful world, hardly a comfort can afford." Most of
us are affording quite a bit of comfort, compared to early Christians and
billions of people in third world countries today. My aim is not to discourage
us from singing that song. My only desire is to urge us to be prayerful and
thoughtful and engaged as we sing in worship. Don’t live a lie, and don’t sing
one either. Will you think about it?
–
Dan Gulley, Smithville, TN
Mark Twain didn’t like long sermons, or short ones, either,
for that matter. He said, "No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty
minutes of a sermon." Gospel preaching is not rated very highly by many
people. With tongue-in-cheek (I hope), George Burns said, "The secret of a
good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then have the two as
close together as possible." Really now, how long should the sermon be?
Ten minutes? Fifteen? Twenty? Thirty? Forty-five? A poll of ten different
people might reveal eleven different opinions!
Sermons in the Bible varied in length – two examples mark the
extremes. First, Jonah 3:4 records that when reluctant prophet Jonah
finally got to the wicked city of Nineveh (after a divinely scheduled and
enforced 3-day stay in the belly of a great fish, Jonah 1:17), the
prophet cried out, "Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown."
Those eight words record the entirety of his sermon (as far as the Bible
record goes). If you’re a fan of short-sermons, I’m here to tell you, Jonah is
your man! In the pulpit and out before you even have time to get sleepy! No
warm-up, no wrap-up. Just eight blunt, jarring, in-your-face words! The only
thing more remarkable than the brevity of Jonah’s ultra-short sermon is the
depth and breadth of response of the people of Nineveh in verse 5: "So
the people of Nineveh believed God, proclaimed a fast, and put on sackcloth
from the greatest to the least of them." Even the king humbled himself
and repented. As a result, "God relented from the disaster He had said
He would bring upon them, and He did not do it" (Jonah 3:10). From
that example of an ultra-short, mini-sermon, we move to a marathon-length,
maxi-sermon preached by the apostle Paul at Troas in Acts 20:7-11. There
we read about a sermon that went virtually all night long! The Bible says Paul "spoke
to them and continued his message until midnight." Staying awake
through that maxi- message proved too much for a young man named Eutychus. Verse
9 tells us he sank "into a deep sleep" until he "was
overcome by sleep" – and as Paul continued speaking," he
fell out of the 3rd story window he was sitting in "and was
taken up dead." To be fair, we are given no insight into why Eutychus
grew sleepy (there may be a legitimate reason why someone is sleepy at church –
age, fatigue, medications, etc.). But Eutychus was blessed that day – the Bible
says that Paul restored his life to him. Paul then "talked a long
while, even until daybreak" (verse 11). The long and short of
it is (no pun intended) the Bible is more concerned about the content of the
sermon than the length of it. Common sense and consideration will guide
thoughtful preachers to be reasonable and remember that "the mind cannot
absorb more than the seat can eudure." At the same time, concientious
Christians should reflect the attitude expressed by the Gentile Cornelius when
the apostle Peter arrived at Cornelius’ house in Acts 10:33 –
"... we are all present before God, to hear all the things commanded you
by God." Circumstances may call for a shorter sermon or for a longer
one. But whether mini or maxi God wants preachers to "preach Christ ...
preach the gospel ... preach the word." What do you want?
"Then Philip opened his mouth, and beginning at this Scripture, preached
Jesus to him." - Acts 8:35
– Dan Gulley, Smithville, TN
Today’s article on Proverbs 31 generates some interesting discussions. One
reader asked:
“What if in reality your
mom and wife both fall down to water and none of them can swim? Who should a
husband save first no matter who asks you to save whom first? What does God teach about this?”
It's a classic sticky question in China. There is no right and wrong answer. It
all depends on one’s relationship with his mother and wife, his conscience, and
his faith in God.
“For a man in China, Wang Fei Guo, that was the dilemma he
faced when he had to choose between saving his mother or his wife,
after their boat tipped over. Neither his wife nor mother knew how to swim. And
he had to choose between spousal duty and filial duty. He chose his wife, and
saved her first. He was able to also save his mother, but just barely. The
event sparked debate on the internet about whether he made the right choice.
From the news article on the story:
Some were critical of the
man saying that“you only have one mother in your life, but you can always get
another wife,” while others defended him, citing the pragmatic “mother doesn’t
have as many years left” argument.
Those who said Gao
made the right choice wrote: “Wang made the right choice, you marry with the idea
your spouse comes first. I think a good parent would (and should) accept this.”
Wang’s own father was outraged he didn’t save his mother first, but later
accepted his decision, when Wang’s mother said she did not blame her son for
his decision. It seems like an impossible decision to make, and really one that
has no right answer. Wang was lucky in that both his wife and mother survived.”
My article was based on the scenario that the wife asked her husband. I don’t
know what goes on in the wife’s mind when she asked that question. But I got
the feeling that she was expecting her husband to say choose her. That’s a
selfish wife. My answer was based upon a selfish wife and a loving mother. The
husband could ask the question back to her: “Who do you think I should choose?”
Now, back to the
question asked by a reader.
I assume in this case it is a virtuous wife and a loving mother. She asked: What does God teach about this?”
What does the Bible
say?
Filial Duty:
Eph 6:2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment
with promise;)
Spouse Duties:
Mat 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and
mother, and shall cleave
to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love
your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for
it;
Eph 5:28 So ought men to love
their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth
himself.
The word “cleave” means “to adhere to, stick to, or join with.” Your
spouse is someone you CHOOSE. Out of every human being—billions of them—you
choose that person.
In marriage, our
spouse is #1, or we are doing it wrong. And yes, that includes
our children. And yes, that includes our parents. Christ says leave your parents
and cleave to your
wife.
Yes, that idea makes some uncomfortable but that’s the Lord’s teaching. In
marriage, the man has made his vow to love his wife first above everything
else. He promised to love, honour and serve her for the rest of his life. The
commandment to love his wife as his own body is never given to the son to his
mother. To his parents, he is to perform the duty of filial piety – honour and
obey his parents.
One man wrote about honouring parent and I find it interesting. He wrote:
“You honor your
parents when you put your spouse first. You comfort them
because they know you’re safe and secure and that their grandchildren are well
cared for.
You honor your
children when you put your spouse first. You teach them that
they are, in fact, NOT the center of the universe and that the best way to live
is to be aware of other people’s needs. You teach them what marriage is
supposed to look like. You provide a safe and unbreakable home. You provide a
lifelong foundation from which to build their futures.
You honor yourself
when you put your spouse first. (I don’t like his reason for
this and I omit his reason, JL) But I agree with his statement that we honour
ourselves when we put our spouses first. It means we are not covenant breakers
but we keep our marriage vows.
I like to add on to it:
You honour your spouse
when you put her first. You give her comfort that you will
honour your vow. You give her security and she will never regret that she has
chosen you.
He continues: “Your
parents will pass one day. It will be hard. You’ll carry on because your spouse
is always first and he or she will carry you through the grief and transition.
You will provide the same support for her or him.
Your children will move
out one day. It will be hard. You’ll carry on because your spouse is always
first and he or she will carry you through the major life adjustment. You will
provide the same support for her or him.
And there you’ll be. In
the future. Waking up every day seeking purpose and adventure.
And when we have spent
years putting our spouse first, we won’t have to look very hard to find
either.”( https://thoughtcatalog.com/matthew-fray/2017/07/the-uncomfortable-truth-on-if-you-should-love-your-spouse-your-parents-or-your-children-most/)
Our parent will leave us. Our children will leave us. At the end of life, there
is only the two of us. Love your wife! Love your husband! You spouse should
always come first in your life! Remember: You enter marriage with the idea that
your spouse will be always first in your life from that day on.
I have a virtuous wife. She is always first in my life. Her happiness always
comes first before mine. We love our children, but we love each other more. One
by one our children will leave the nest. But she will be always here with
me.
I hope my answer will help you make the right choice.
