Needy Children!

Babs Bell Hajdusiewcz (pronounced “hi-doo-SHEV-its”), M.S. Ed., is a bestselling author whose publishing credits include more than 100 children’s books, classroom books and materials, and over 400 poems and songs for children, parents, and teachers. To whet your appetite for her creative style, one of Babs’ bestselling picture books is entitled “Don’t Go Out in Your Underwear!” (a collection of 64 kid-selected poems and songs). The following rhyming lines from her prolific pen humorously remind us parenthood comes pre-packaged with pride, pleasure, and peril: "First time parents never miss a single tiny feat. They film it, note it, and shout it in the street — ‘He smiled today! Had four BM’s! He spit up on the cat! He got a tooth! He slept all night — can you          imagine that?!’ But second-timers note the facts and take each one in stride: ‘He learned to take his diaper off — you’d better step aside.’ ” Anyone who has any experience at parenting and / or raising children knows the project is a mixed bag — with potential to bring life’s highest highs but also its lowest lows. But no, friends, a thousand times no! Stepping aside is the one thing parents must not do! Not if they wish to keep from damaging and hurting their children in ways no one else on earth ever could. The best parenting book ever written was authored by the only Perfect Parent who ever lived. I’m talking about that old Book called the Bible, of course. The Book that tells us about the Father in Heaven. This Father (that is, “God our Father” [Ephesians 1:2]), is the Father Jesus taught us is the Father who knows the things you have need of before you ask Him” (Matthew 6:8). Our Heavenly Father recognizes His children have needs. In the last third of Matthew chapter 6, Jesus acknowledged that we all have physical need of food and clothing and shelter. But He also declares that life is about much more than food and clothing (verses 19-21, 24-32). After challenging His disciples to not worry and clamor and chase after these things in the same way the pagans do, He gave this ongoing challenge in verse 33: “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” The point is we all have needs, from the moment we draw our first breath till the moment we take our last. And while many of them are physical in nature, as creatures made in the image of God, we have spiritual, emotional and intellectual needs as well.

 Every child is born needy! You and I were born that way. The immediate needs are food, water, and shelter. But there are other needs, almost from the moment of birth — things like education, stability, structure and guidance. And, like all of us, they desperately need God (Ephesians 6:4). The process is one of development and takes years of investment from parents (and others). Children need tons of love, affirmation, praise and appreciation. And yes, they need discipline — which might at times      include what Solomon’s Proverbs several times calls a “rod” (that is, a spanking). As much as anything else, discipline involves consistency, that is setting boundaries that are fair and clearly explained and understood, and then enforced by parents who love enough to follow through when rebellion is involved (see Hebrews 12:5-11). Parenting is a big task. Parents, just remember your children ARE needy! They need you to be a parent, protector and provider to meet their many physical, emotional, and spiritual    needs. Parents are the primary players in God’s plan to meet those needs. The task is a demanding but very rewarding one. Your children can’t afford for you to step aside from the job. God bless your efforts.

    Dan Gulley,  Smithville TN  

l Thank ... Who?

A  preacher told about a lady who was an atheist. One morning she and a friend stepped out into the glories of a beautiful fall morning. As she beheld the brilliant sun peeking through the haze and the frost on the meadow and the brightly colored leaves lazilydrifting to the ground, she was filled with the beauty and wonder of it all. Seemingly unable to restrain her wonder, gushed to her friend, “I am so thankful. I’m just so grateful for it all.” And her believing friend asked, “Grateful to whom, my dear?”

 Really, who do we thank “for it all”? Our lucky stars?” Karma? The so-called Big Bang? The Undirected chance and fate? Who do we thank on Thanksgiving (or any other) Day for the delightful and delicious sights and smells and tastes of a fabulous meal provided with little or no effort on our part? Do we thank and praise the platters that hold the mountains of food? Or the stove that cooked it? Or the grocery store where it was purchased? Or the turkey for sacrificing itself? No — we thank the one / ones who provided the meal; the one who bought the supplies, baked and boiled and fried and arranged the feast. We thank the hosts who put in all the labor, be it Mom and / or Grandma or whoever. If we are thoughtful, we thank her / him / them for the love behind it all! Going further, if we look around in our world and think about what we see, logic compels us to agree with this little piece of prose attributed to Maltie Babcock: “Back of the loaf is the snowy flour, And back of the flour the mill. And back of the mill is the wheat and the shower, and the sun and the Father's will.” Maltie nailed it. At the end of the day our thanksgiving has to go to God. In the words of Psalm 68:19 (New King James Version): “Blessed be the Lord, Who daily loads us with benefits, The God of our salvation! Selah.” The New Testament writer James acknowledged God above as the giver of “every good and perfect gift” (James 1:17).

 Ravi Zacharias, in his book Can Man Live Without God? (p 86), noted the fact that America as a culture traditionally sets aside one day a year to say “Thank You” to God. But he went on to bemoan the fact that, thanks to the skeptic, “Thanksgiving Day has been reduced to Turkey Day.” He then quoted G. K. Chesterton (p 88) who wrote these challenging words: “I suppose it is like this. If my children wake up on Christmas morning and have somebody to thank for putting candy in their stocking, have I no one to thank for putting two feet in mine?”

 English writer, poet, moralist and critic Samuel Johnson (did 1709-17840 said, “Gratitude is a fruit of great cultivation; you do not find it among gross people.” It is to be feared that America as a culture is populated by many gross people. In what is arguably the most materially blessed nation in history, grumbling is cultivated far more than gratitude. Let it be said with love but let it be said loud and clear and without blinking that God’s people of all people will be careful to cultivate gratitude. To fail to do so is to fail to be God’s people. Let us say ‘thank you’ often to one another. But always, every day, in every time and place, first and foremost, and without shame or reservation let us say it often and out loud — thank ... God!

 Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!” – 2 Corinthians 9:15

                                 Dan Gulley, Smithville TN            

How Children Learn About the Church!

         Psalm 78:5–7 reminds us the great task of telling and teaching our children God’s Word falls first upon parents: “For He established a testimony in Jacob, And appointed a law in Israel, Which He commanded our fathers, That they should make them known to their children; That the generation to come might know them, The children who would be born, That they may arise and declare them to their children, That they may set their hope in God, And not forget the works of God, But keep His commandments.” Parents, your children are always watching the way you live and listening to the words you speak. What are you telling / teaching them about the church?
     Things we say to our children can backfire on us. One little girl noticed a few strands of grey hair in her mother’s mostly brown hair. She asked, “Why are some of your hairs grey, Mama?” The mother replied, “Well, sweetheart, every time you don’t listen and do something naughty, one of my hairs turns grey.” The little girl was silent for only a moment and then said, “Mama, is that why ALL of Grandma’s hair is grey?” Ouch! Our children really are looking, listening, and learning even if we don’t realize it. The children’s song says, “O be careful little mouth what you say.” Why? “For the Father up above is looking down in love, So be careful little mouth what you say.” Would it not be proper to amend that song for adults in the church (especially parents and grandparents, to say, “O be careful big mouth what you say?” Surely so, for not only is the Father up above looking on and listening in to what big mouths say, but the children who live in our houses and ride in our cars are listening, too. Not only listening but looking and remembering and absorbing. Paul Faulkner wrote, “A child is a little video camera on legs” (Raising Faith Kids in a Fast-Paced World, p 74). That’s a funny thought, but a sobering one, too, for they see and hear the good, the bad, and the ugly in their parents and other older people. And, as Faulkner went on to note, what is being recorded will likely play back in the child’s life as they get older. In Faulkner’s words, “You’ll get to see a replay when you are about 40 and your children are grown — you’ll see them imitating you in their lives” (p 74).
     An appeal stated in 1 Corinthians 11:1 has special application for parents who want their children to love the Lord and His church — “Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.” Parents, you don’t have to tell your kids to imitate you. They will, at least early on. Like wet cement, whatever falls on them makes an impression, good or bad. Wise parents realize the wisdom stated in the old adage, “Monkey see, monkey do.” Our children ARE watching and they ARE listening and they ARE learning! Parents, whether God-fearing or not, cannot escape teaching their children about the church. We teach by example, and daily impressions are being made that may last a lifetime. What are your children learning about the church and her elders, deacons, preachers, song leaders, Bible class teachers, and the good, faithful, truth-seeking people who sit on the pews in church assemblies? What impressions are you leaving on their moldable minds? You can’t teach them to love the church if you loathe it; you won’t teach them it is important if you act like it is irrelevant. Whatever they are learning, the naked and perhaps uncomfortable truth is they are learning it in their younger years from you. Will your children love the Lord and the church? You greatly increase the odds they will if you truly love them yourself. 

           Dan Gulley, Smithville TN

The Powerful Potential of Parenthood!

It costs to be a parent these days. In 2017 the USDA issued Expenditures on Children (also known as “The Cost of Raising a Child”). In 2017, it was estimated a family spent approximately $12, 980 annually per child in a middle-income, two child, married couple family. Parents of a child born in 2017 were thus expected to spend $233,610 to raise the child through age 18. Whether accurate or not, parenthood is an expensive enterprise. A parent said, “We have an 18-year-old daughter. Her name is Alexis. We chose that name because if we hadn’t had her we’d be driving one.” These days they might have named her Tesla! Parenthood comes with other costs besides financial ones. They include huge investments of time, energy, emotion, anxiety, patience and compassion. Real parents have what the Bible calls “natural affection” (KJV Romans 1:31 * 2 Timothy 3:3). That affection elevates the price you pay for being a parent. It always costs to love and care, and the total investment for your child, in personal terms, cannot be measured except to say it is enormous, even staggering, and never-ending. Elizabeth Stone said it well: “The decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” In short, the price you pay for being a parent is to turn over your heart to your child / children (and in many instances grandchildren). You shouldn’t live your life just for your children, but your own happiness and wholeness and well-being, to a great extent, will forever be tied to theirs. As Jacob’s son Judah said about his aged father’s love for his youngest son (Benjamin): “his life is bound up in the life of the lad’s” (Genesis 44:30).  King Solomon noted the power of a child to bring happiness or grief to his parents in Proverbs 10:1 — “A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is the grief of his mother.” Loving parents may have to give a child up, but they can never let go. God Himself said about His wayward, backsliding children (Israel) — “How can I give you up, Ephraim? How can I hand you over, Israel? ... My heart churns within Me; My sympathy is stirred” (Hosea 11:8). Bible students know God did at last give Israel up to the judgment of captivity. But it broke His heart to do so. Parenthood is costly.                           

 But there is also potential for great power in parenthood! Parents stand in a God-assigned place as His partners — not equal ones, mind you, but vital, incomparable ones! A place no one else can completely fill in the child’s life — not the state, not the school, not the day-care center, not even the church! Two familiar Bible verses remind us parenthood is oozing with potential and power for good: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6), and “You fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). There’s the potential power of parenthood! Parents co-partner with God in the awesome and fearful process of not only bringing a brand-new life into the world, but also nurturing and training and guiding her / him to mental, physical, social, and spiritual well-being and maturity. And most of all, guiding it toward Heaven. Paul Faulkner wrote, “When we bring a child into the world, we start a soul toward eternity ... a soul that will never die. A soul that will spend eternity in either Heaven or hell” (What Every Family Needs, p 129). Thank God for moms and dads who not only pay the price but consciously, consistently, and passionately wield the power of true parenthood! 

  Dan Gulley, Smithville TN