Today I’d like to talk about “the season” which we’re now in and, in a way different from last week’s editorial, look at another aspect of it - the giving of gifts.

The main thrust of my thoughts today concern our attitude of giving and not the gift itself.  And as we discuss gift-giving, let’s keep in mind the definition of “gift.”  Simply said, a “gift” is something voluntarily given.  It’s not a reward nor is it something earned.

As I alluded to earlier, when we’re talking about this season of gift-giving, it’s the attitude that’s important and not the gift itself.  And, when you really think about it, this attitude shouldn’t be relegated to just a few days of the year, but should be seen in us all the time - year ‘round. 

Well, what should our attitude be towards giving?  The apostle Paul tells us that our “giving” should be done “cheerfully” and not “grudgingly.”  (2Cor. 9:7)    If that’s the attitude we’re supposed to have when “giving” to Him, why should it be any different in our “giving” towards others?  In the 4th chapter of 1 John we’re told that we should have the same attitude towards others as we have towards Him.  And vice-versa.

In other words, we “give” from the “heart” because we want to and not because we expect something in return.  That would be violating the definition of a “gift.”  Let me relate a true story to you that I feel illustrates the proper attitude of giving to others without considering a recompense for having done so.  Perhaps this little story also is applicable to this “season” we’re currently observing.

Many years ago, in the late 1800's to be exact, an 18 year old boy was attending Stanford University and was struggling with the college fees.  Being an orphan, he had no where to turn for a source of money.  He and a friend had the idea that they would host a musical concert on campus and thereby raise the funds needed.

They sent a letter to the great pianist Jan Paderewski, at that time touring the U.S. asking him to hold a concert at the university.  His manager demanded that they pay a guaranteed fee of $2000 for the concert to be held.  They agreed and went to work selling tickets. 

Unfortunately they only collected $1600 so they went to Paderewski and explained their situation, giving him the $1600 and a promise to pay the $400 at the earliest they could.  Paderewski returned the money to them and asked them to simply pay his expenses and just give him whatever was left over.  The concert was held and the boys were able to complete their college education.

Some years later, Paderewski became the Prime Minister of Poland and was acclaimed as being a great leader.  Then World War 1 came along and Poland was being ravaged by the war and suffering greatly.  More than one and a half million people were starving in his country.  Paderewski reached out to the U.S. Food and Relief Administration for help.

The head of that organization was a man named Herbert Hoover and he quickly approved the request and many tons of food was shipped to Poland as rapidly as possible.  Paderewski was so relieved and thankful for the gift of this food that he came to the U.S. to personally thank Hoover.

When they met, Paderewski began thanking him for what he described as a noble gesture when Hoover interrupted him and said, “You shouldn’t be thanking me Mr. Prime Minister.  You may not remember this, but several years ago, you helped two young students get through college.  I was one of them.”

What Paderewski had done back then was just a small act of kindness.  He just gave a gift of his time and effort, but it marked him as a great human being.  Why should he have helped two people he didn’t even know?  I think that his gift illustrates what Jesus said in Matt. 12:35.  That a “good heart” produces “good things.”

All of us will have these situations arise at times in our lives.  And the sad thing about this is that many people have the attitude that “If I help them what will happen to me?”  But, truly great people, the ones with the “good hearts,” don’t think that way.  Their “heart” says, “If I don’t help them, what will happen to them?”

True givers from the heart don’t do it expecting something in return.  They do it because it’s the right thing to do.  For more scriptural reference that addresses our attitudes toward giving, I recommend that you read verses 27-38 in the 6th chapter of Luke.

To close out our thoughts on the attitude of “giving” I’ll do it this way.  Our Heavenly Father is the greatest example of gift-giving that’s available for our learning.  I say this because of what James tells us in James 1:17: that “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above....”  Everything this world has for man to exist has been gifted by God.  So that we can “have life” and “have it more abundantly.”  (John 10:10)

But let me just remind you of three of the best gifts delivered by the greatest of all gifts.  And it must also be remembered that these gifts were bestowed without our being worthy of receiving them (Rom. 5:8).  In Romans 5:15 we see that we’re given the gift of “grace.”  Then in Rom. 5:17 we find that if we are in the “grace of God” we also receive the gift of “righteousness.”

The third gift is the gift of “eternal life” (Rom. 6:23).  All of these gifts come to us through the only delivery method God authorized and used - His Son, Jesus Christ.  In John 4:10 is found a beautiful metaphoric statement by Jesus that shows us that HE IS the “gift of God” through which “eternal life” is bestowed.  He tells the “woman at the well” that He is the “gift of God” by which the “living water” is obtained.  In verse 14 we see that His “living water” is the water of “everlasting life.”

                                      “Thanks be to God for His inexpressible gift.”  (2 Cor. 9:15 ESV)

Respectfully submitted,

Ron Covey

Son 6:2 My beloved is gone down into his garden, to the beds of spices, to feed in the gardens, and to gather lilies.

Song of Solomon 6 English Standard Version (ESV)

Others

¹ Where has your beloved gone,
    O most beautiful among women?
Where has your beloved turned,
    that we may seek him with you?

Together in the Garden of Love 

She

² My beloved has gone down to his garden
    to the beds of spices,
to graze in the gardens
    and to gather lilies.
³ I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine;
    he grazes among the lilies. 

Solomon and His Bride Delight in Each Other

He

⁴ You are beautiful as Tirzah, my love,
    lovely as Jerusalem,
    awesome as an army with banners.
⁵ Turn away your eyes from me,
    for they overwhelm me—
Your hair is like a flock of goats
    leaping down the slopes of Gilead.
⁶ Your teeth are like a flock of ewes
    that have come up from the washing;
all of them bear twins;
    not one among them has lost its young.
⁷ Your cheeks are like halves of a pomegranate
    behind your veil.
⁸ There are sixty queens and eighty concubines,
    and virgins without number.
⁹ My dove, my perfect one, is the only one,
    the only one of her mother,
    pure to her who bore her.
The young women saw her and called her blessed;
    the queens and concubines also, and they praised her.

¹⁰ “Who is this who looks down like the dawn,
    beautiful as the moon, bright as the sun,
    awesome as an army with banners?” 

She

¹¹ I went down to the nut orchard
    to look at the blossoms of the valley,
to see whether the vines had budded,
    whether the pomegranates were in bloom.
¹² Before I was aware, my desire set me
    among the chariots of my kinsman, a prince. 

Others

¹³  Return, return, O Shulammite,
    return, return, that we may look upon you. 

He

Why should you look upon the Shulammite,
    as upon a dance before two armies?

In the earlier chapter, we see the Shulamite went out in search for her husband. She requested the daughters of Jerusalem: “If you find my beloved, ….Tell him that I'm weak with love” (5:8). It means she misses him and long for his return. The daughters of Jerusalem asked her: “What is so special about your beloved, most beautiful of women? What is so special about your beloved, that you charge us like this?” (5:9). The Shulamite went on with a lengthy description of her Beloved (5:10-16). 

In this chapter, the daughters of Jerusalem helped the Shulamite to locate her Beloved (6:1-3). They found him and we see the lovely couple delighting in each other (6:4-13). They are together again, and the warmth of their restored relationship is evident in this section. All was forgotten and forgiven. 

“The ability of a couple to succeed in their marriage is equal to the ability of that couple to forgive and accept forgiveness. . . . When this willingness on the part of both becomes a habit, then the bubble of romance that began their relationship will become a diamond that will last forever.” (Glickman) 

Marriage is an amazing thing. It is two independent persons, who have lived half their lives without each other, not knowing each other beforehand, having different personalities, behaviours and likes, and coming together and hoping to live the rest of their lives in love, peace and harmony. Brothers and sisters, this relationship doesn’t come automatically; you have to work hard to make it a long, loving, peaceful, and lasting one. Some marriages fail because the couples hardly work on their marriages. 

I read this interesting quote: “No marriage is all sunshine, but two people can share one umbrella and survive the storm together.” A couple who were married for 65 years shared the secret of their blissful marriage: “We were born in a time when if something was broken we fix it, not throw it away.” 

There are times when you feel like walking out. Go ahead! I’m not saying you walk out of the marriage; I’m saying you go out for a walk. But don’t walk too far away. Where was the Beloved? The Shulamite knows just where to find him: “My beloved has gone down to his garden to the beds of spices, to graze in the gardens and to gather lilies” (6:2). He went to the garden to get some fresh air. 

When you get angry, go to the garden and breathe some fresh air. Look at the flowers, the pond, the fishes, and listen to the birds singing to each other. I happen to stay opposite the town park with a fishing pond and plenty of birds. Occasionally, I also get to see a family of otters playing in the stream, monitor lizards gliding in the waters, and turtles swimming freely. I enjoy a walk in the park; it is just so refreshing and rejuvenating. 

Brothers and sisters, marriage is not a walk in the park. But take a walk in the park and your marriage will work. I end with this beautiful hymn – The Beautiful Garden of Prayer. 

1.      There’s a garden where Jesus is waiting,
There’s a place that is wondrously fair;
For it glows with the light of His presence,
’Tis that beautiful garden of prayer.

o   Refrain:
Oh, the beautiful garden, the garden of prayer,
Oh, the beautiful garden of prayer;
There my Savior awaits, and He opens the gates
To the beautiful garden of prayer.

2.      There’s a garden where Jesus is waiting,
And I go with my burden and care
Just to learn from His lips words of comfort,
In the beautiful garden of prayer.

3.      There’s a garden where Jesus is waiting,
And He bids you to come meet Him there;
Just to bow, and receive a new blessing,
In the beautiful garden of prayer.

Jimmy Lau

Song 7:10 I am my beloved's, and his desire is for me. Song of Solomon 7 English Standard Version (ESV)

7 How beautiful are your feet in sandals,
    O noble daughter!
Your rounded thighs are like jewels,
    the work of a master hand.
² Your navel is a rounded bowl
    that never lacks mixed wine.
Your belly is a heap of wheat,
    encircled with lilies.
³ Your two breasts are like two fawns,
    twins of a gazelle.
⁴ Your neck is like an ivory tower.
Your eyes are pools in Heshbon,
    by the gate of Bath-rabbim.
Your nose is like a tower of Lebanon,
    which looks toward Damascus.
⁵ Your head crowns you like Carmel,
    and your flowing locks are like purple;
    a king is held captive in the tresses.

⁶ How beautiful and pleasant you are,
    O loved one, with all your delights!
⁷ Your stature is like a palm tree,
    and your breasts are like its clusters.
⁸ I say I will climb the palm tree
    and lay hold of its fruit.
Oh may your breasts be like clusters of the vine,
    and the scent of your breath like apples,
⁹ and your mouth like the best wine.

She

It goes down smoothly for my beloved,
    gliding over lips and teeth.

¹⁰ I am my beloved's,
    and his desire is for me. 

The Bride Gives Her Love

¹¹ Come, my beloved,
    let us go out into the fields
    and lodge in the villages;
¹² let us go out early to the vineyards
    and see whether the vines have budded,
whether the grape blossoms have opened
    and the pomegranates are in bloom.
There I will give you my love.
¹³ The mandrakes give forth fragrance,
    and beside our doors are all choice fruits,
new as well as old,
    which I have laid up for you, O my beloved.

This is the third time the bridegroom describes the beauty of his bride. The first description of his bride’s beauty recorded in chapter 4:1-5 was on the wedding night; the beloved praised the beauty of his bride before she yielded her body to him. The second description of her beauty recorded in chapter 6:4-9 after a conflict when the beloved assured the Shulamite that she was just as beautiful to him then as she was on the wedding night. This third description of the Shulamite’s beauty (Song 7:1-5) further assured the maiden of her beauty. 

There are two kinds of love in this world that are most excellent. First, is a mother’s love for her child. No one can deny that a mother’s love is forever, sacrificial, forgiving, and selfless. The second love is marriage love.  Solomon says one of the things too wonderful for him to understand is to way of a man with a maid (Proverbs 30:19). There is a reason why God said it is not good for the man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). Man needs a marriage love that nothing else in this world can provide. God did not make another animal to be Adam’s companion. He did not make a car or something beautiful to be Adam’s companion. God made a woman! We see the Beloved in the song was captivated by the love of the bride and the desire for intimacy (7:6-9a). 

At this juncture, the Shulamite is overwhelmed with love and proudly announces: “I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me” (7:10). 

I am my beloved's – “I belong to my Beloved.” It is one of submission. Husbands and wives, in marriages you are no longer two individual people doing his /her own thing and minding his/her own business - YOU BELONG TO EACH OTHER. Sometimes I hear couples proudly saying they let each other be his/her own self – one doesn’t bother or interfere with the other person’s life. It’s no wonder their marriages fail – they don’t need each other. 

“I am my beloved's” is a message to all wives: “Sexual intimacy must not to be understood to be the husband’s pleasure and the wife’s duty.” Sexual intimacy is a love language between a husband and wife. Listen to the warning from Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5: “A husband should fulfill his obligation to his wife, and a wife should do the same for her husband. A wife does not have authority over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband doesn't have authority over his own body, but his wife does. Do not withhold yourselves from each other unless you agree to do so just for a set time, in order to devote yourselves to prayer. Then you should come together again so that Satan does not tempt you through your lack of self-control.” (Emp, JL). 

We often hear of husbands blaming the wives for refusing sexual intimacy for their extra-marital affairs. They fell into Satan’s temptations. Wives, you can avoid such thing from happening – be your husband’s only lover! 

And his desire is toward me – The Shulamite is very pleased that her husband has eyes only for her and her and desires her. And this is the message for all husbands:  Your wife must be your only lover: “Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love” (Proverbs 5:18-19). 

From verse 7:11-13, we see the Shulamite responded to his Beloved’s desire and invited him to the countryside where they shared their time of intimacy. 

In Song of Songs, we see how married couples should respond to each other’s desire – Love and Submission. When you are married, you are no longer just yourself but you have to think in term of two persons – you are two become one. May you always be in love with each other.

Jimmy Lau