Paul Harvey once said about fathers: "A father is a thing that is forced to endure childhood without an anesthetic." Fathers are being forced to endure a lot of things these days. One of the most detrimental is an onslaught of "new-age" but really bad and stinking thinking about males in general and fathers in particular. Nearly 50 years ago radical feminists began suggesting (perhaps with tongue-in-cheek, perhaps not) that "a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle." I would not deny some men are that sorry, but some women are too. I am generalizing, but in the decades since that statement was first uttered, views of women in our culture have improved while views of men have became worse. It is now acceptable to many to denigrate and demoralize men and the roles they play. Paul and Sandy Coughlin (in their book, Married But Not Engaged; p 28-29), summarize all the negative ink and ratings men receive in our culture with provocative words – "The root idea: Men are a serious problem that must be fixed, not a gender to be appreciated. Men are not okay as men. Masculinity, in and of itself, is not okay." They blame the epidemic of negative thinking about men on "extended therapy at the hands of social engineers, media presentations, and dedicated activists." They posit that while much of our thinking about (and treatment of) women was flawed before the social revolutions of the 1960's and '70's, many have not addressed the flaws but have rather sought to reverse or invert them. The real need was to see women as equal with men in human value and dignity and worth in our culture. But some have sought to elevate the view and place of women, not by embracing and enacting positive change in the ways women are viewed and treated, but by tearing down men. It's feminine revenge — "Men have had the upper hand and abused it; now it's women's turn to rule and degrade [the men]" No surprise, then, that Maureen Dowd can ask, with a straight face, in her book, Are Men Necessary?
Enough of that. There are at least two jobs where men still matter – being husbands and fathers! Modern thinking aside, a MAN and a WOMAN are necessary for a God-designed marriage that reproduces offspring (Genesis 1:26-28; Matthew 19:4-6). "Same-sex marriages" may be increasing, but they are not reproducing – offspring, that is. When it comes to reproduction, both sexes are necessary, even if one of them is a man! Additionally, ideally, children need a male / man / father in their lives. A man who will stay on the job he took on when he and a woman he loved and married brought one or more babies into their family through conception or adoption. Not just a male, not just a brute who swaggers and swears and intimidates and / or abuses his wife and children – but a real man who engages with his family to protect and provide and guide, physically and spiritually. The kind of men who matter are described in Ephesians 5:22-6:4 – a man who loves God, his wife, and his children more than he loves himself! Christ-like men who are tender but tough; compassionate and committed; firm, fair, forgiving; godly but gentle; strong enough to submit to God and carry a cross of self-denial. God-fearing men, flawed as they might be, still matter as husbands and fathers. They always have and always will.
By: Dan Gulley, Smithville, TN
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