1Sa 1:8 Then said Elkanah her husband to her, Hannah, why weepest thou? and why eatest thou not? and why is thy heart grieved? am not I better to thee than ten sons?

Elkanah had two wives. The Scripture is stating a fact and not approving of polygamy. Polygamy was a fact of life in that whole part of the ancient world. But more wives mean more problems. In this account, we see an intense competition between the two wives, Peninnah, who had children, and Hannah, who had not. And, the one who had children kept tormenting the one who had not. Hannah was sad; very sad.

It was a great reproach to a woman among the Jews to be barren. Barrenness in ancient times was the ultimate tragedy for a married woman. But Elkanah loved Hannah more in spite that she did not give him any children. Yet, Hannah was still sad. Elkanah comforted her: “Why weepest thou? and why eatest thou not? and why is thy heart grieved? am not I better to thee than ten sons?” (v.8).

Am not I better to thee than ten sons — In Elkanah we have an example of a most excellent husband; who patiently bore with the insolent attitude of Peninnah, and comforted the dejected Hannah with words full of tender affection. Indeed, his love for Hannah was better than ten children.

Elkanah’s question keeps me thinking: “Am not I better to thee than ten sons?” What happens to the husband when a woman has children?

I have three wonderful children. My wife said I am now number FOUR. It means I am number four in her priority of love. I am no better than three children. I’m glad I don’t have ten.

Lots of women look forward to motherhood. And they believe that motherhood is the most rewarding part of life. Unfortunately, for some, as a mother’s bond with a child grows, her relationship with her spouse deteriorates. “Lovest thou me more than these?” (John 21:15).

Sad, but I have seen couples, yea, even Christian couples, living a loveless relationship under the same roof. And children are forced to choose side. Brethren, this ought not to be so.

Studies have indicated that the course of love is always downhill. Love is highest at the wedding and from that point, it starts to go downhill. But must it be so? Should Christian couples allow it to happen to their marriages? Can they do something about it? Or is it irreversible?

Brethren, marriage demands hard work. And successful marriages require lots of work. And one area to work on is LOVE. Love should not be at the peak at the wedding. Love should get better from there, not downhill. Love should grow stronger each day. Of course, there will be days you hate each other. But at the end of the day, love must prevail. Love happens if you choose your relationship—and each other—over and over again. You have to choose to stay together. “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matthew 19:6).

You must work on love: “Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy. Love does not boast; it is not proud. Love is not rude. Love is not self-seeking. Love is not easily angered. Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).

It’s perfectly normal to have times when you feel less in love with your spouse. But let not the sun go down on your love. Your spouse is worth to you more than ten children. Children will leave your nest and at the end of the day, you will be left with your spouse. Yes, back to where you started - just the TWO of you! Therefore, love one another fervently! Your spouse is EVERYTHING!