And now a word to you fathers. Don’t make your children angry
by the way you treat them. Rather, bring
them up with the discipline
and instruction approved by the
Lord." Eph. 6:4 (NLT)
Since I wrote an editorial on Mother’s Day last month it’s only
fitting, with gender correctness, that I put forth an equal effort today on
Father’s Day. If we considered the importance of mothers on society and family
life, it’s only fair that we discuss the same areas of importance as regards
fathers, don’t you think? I do anyway, so that’s our subject under consideration
today.
When we discussed mothers last month we looked at their
influence on families, society and the world in general. I think that fathers
can be looked at and examined under this same set of circumstances. We talked
about the importance of the mother’s influence over the children and it’s my
humble opinion that the father should also have a certain relationship and
influence over those same children.
Before I go any further with this lesson, let me offer up a
short caveat. As I am a father, twice-over, I feel qualified to offer opinions
on the subject of fatherhood but, when I cite scripture to you, I’m not offering
my opinion. If I write something apart from scriptural reference, that is my
opinion and is to be understood as such.
That being said, let me start our lesson by asking, "What is a
father’s job?" As previously stated, we know what the mother’s job is, but what
exactly would you say the father’s job is? In other words, what is his
responsibility? This is probably as good a spot as any to offer a personal
opinion that I believe is consistent with Biblical teaching, that a "family"
consists of a "father" (male) and a "mother" (female) and, if fortunate,
children (gender as issued by God).
Ok, back to our question - the father’s job. According to what I
read in Ephesians 5 and 6, father’s are to be the "head" of the family. I
don’t think there is any argument as to the definition of "head", is
there? The "head" of any entity is that which directs that entity. As an
example: it is our "head" that directs our body, therefore it’s the
father that directs the family in the same manner as Christ is the "head"
(directs) His church.
Where I’m going with that line of thought is, Christ set the
standards by which the church operates. In like manner, the father’s job is to
set the standards by which the family conducts itself. Now don’t read into what
I just said to get the idea that a father is to be an autocrat and that the rest
of the family has no input. I’m not saying that at all.
What I mean by using the example of Christ and the church is,
that the father should live his life and conduct himself in such a manner that
he sets the standard for the family to follow as Jesus Christ did for the
church. The father can’t just dictate how things are to be done and how the
family is to conduct itself, he has to DO. To borrow an old phrase, he can’t
just preach, he has to also practice.
Speaking of standards, here is the area where a lot of fathers
get into trouble and that’s determined by where they go to obtain their
standards. Wouldn’t you agree that he should have a sound, reliable source of
standards to draw on in order that his family follows the right standards?
That’s a pretty easy equation to follow, isn’t it?
You can trust me when I say that any standard set by society is
not a sound nor reliable one and if followed by the father would be detrimental
to the family. The main problem with society’s standards is that they change
daily. You only have to watch the news broadcasts to see that most of society’s
standards are set by political correctness and we know how stable and sound
politics are, don’t we? I see society’s standards as being whatever is
convenient at the moment and when you look at the definition of what a standard
is, that isn’t.
No, there is only one sound, reliable source for both wisdom and
standards for how our families, ourselves and everyone should conduct themselves
and that is - God! To quote a phrase from our study of Proverbs that speaks
directly to what I just said, please read with me Prov. 9:10: "The fear of
the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and the knowledge of the holy is
understanding."
Back to our equation. If a father is truly following God’s
standards he is then setting the proper standards for his family. Does this
prevent fathers from making mistakes? Absolutely not! I know this may come as a
shock to my children, and I hate to burst their bubble, but I’m not perfect.
They may not be too shocked though as I suspect that their mother has already
"spilled the beans" if you know what I mean.
But, leaving the joking aside, it’s my humble opinion that the
most important job a father has is this: to possess in himself the standards
which define a follower of Christ, IE: a Christian, and thus provide those
standards for his family to follow. Does a father want his family to be
productive, law-abiding, honest citizens living Christian lives? Then he had
better set those standards for them to look at and follow.
In a reverse sense, there’s an example of what I’m saying found
in something said by Jesus of the Pharisees. In the 23rd chapter of
Matthew Christ is severely chastising the conduct of the Pharisees and notice
how He puts it in verse 32: "Fill ye up the measure of your fathers." In
other words, by their unrighteous conduct, they were living up to the standards
set by their fathers who had "killed the prophets." He’s telling them
that their current unrighteous conduct is no better than the unrighteous conduct
of their forefathers.
Let’s turn our Bibles to some words that show fathers how and
where a good or proper set of "measures" (standards) can be found. It’s
the scripture with which we started this lesson: "And now a word to you
fathers. Don’t make your children angry by the way you treat them. Rather, bring
them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the
Lord."
Not only am I a father, but I’m also blessed by having
grandchildren so I’ll bring this to a close by offering you another bit of God’s
wisdom from the book of Proverbs. In chapter 17, verse 6 we read:
"Grandchildren are the crown of old age, and the glory of children is in
their fathers." What do you think wise old Solomon is saying
there?
In short, God, through the hand of Solomon is saying that it’s a
great honor for a man to live to see his children have children and for those
children to be following God in their lives. And when you think about it, what
greater "crown" could there be to a father than to see his "house"
continuing in the standards and examples that he’s set if those standards are
from God. And the other half of that proverb is that it’s also an honor for his
children to have wise and godly parents.
Respectfully submitted,
Ron Covey
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