Song 5:3 I have put off my coat; how shall I put it on? I have washed my feet; how shall I defile them?

Song of Solomon 5 English Standard Version (ESV) 

Together in the Garden of Love (continues from chapter 4:16)

He

¹ I came to my garden, my sister, my bride,

    I gathered my myrrh with my spice,

    I ate my honeycomb with my honey,

    I drank my wine with my milk.

 Others

Eat, friends, drink,

    and be drunk with love! 

The Bride Searches for Her Beloved

She

² I slept, but my heart was awake.

A sound! My beloved is knocking.

“Open to me, my sister, my love,

    my dove, my perfect one,

for my head is wet with dew,

    my locks with the drops of the night.”

³ I had put off my garment;

    how could I put it on?

I had bathed my feet;

    how could I soil them?

⁴ My beloved put his hand to the latch,

    and my heart was thrilled within me.

⁵ I arose to open to my beloved,

    and my hands dripped with myrrh,

my fingers with liquid myrrh,

    on the handles of the bolt.

⁶ I opened to my beloved,

    but my beloved had turned and gone.

My soul failed me when he spoke.

I sought him, but found him not;

    I called him, but he gave no answer.

⁷ The watchmen found me

    as they went about in the city;

they beat me, they bruised me,

    they took away my veil,

    those watchmen of the walls.

⁸ I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,

    if you find my beloved,

that you tell him

    I am sick with love. 

Others

⁹ What is your beloved more than another beloved,

    O most beautiful among women?

What is your beloved more than another beloved,

    that you thus adjure us? 

The Bride Praises Her Beloved

She

¹⁰ My beloved is radiant and ruddy,

    distinguished among ten thousand.

¹¹ His head is the finest gold;

    his locks are wavy,

    black as a raven.

¹² His eyes are like doves

    beside streams of water,

bathed in milk,

    sitting beside a full pool.

¹³ His cheeks are like beds of spices,

    mounds of sweet-smelling herbs.

His lips are lilies,

    dripping liquid myrrh.

¹⁴ His arms are rods of gold,

    set with jewels.

His body is polished ivory,

    bedecked with sapphires.

¹⁵ His legs are alabaster columns,

    set on bases of gold.

His appearance is like Lebanon,

    choice as the cedars.

¹⁶ His mouth is most sweet,

    and he is altogether desirable.

This is my beloved and this is my friend,

    O daughters of Jerusalem. 

The Shulamite recites a second dream, which somewhat resembles her former dream, but is more vivid and intense, and ends very painfully (5:2-7). In this dream, she was sleeping but was awaken by her husband knocking at the door and calling upon her to open for him. He had just returned from tending his flock in the night, and his hair was wet with the dew. But she was too lazy to get up and open the door for him. She excused herself that she had already cleaned up and wasn’t ready to get her feet dirty again. Probably, when she did not hear her husband entering the house, she panicked and went to the door. But too late, her husband had left, perhaps angry his wife refused to open the door for him. 

On touching the lock she found it covered with sweet smelling myrrh (5:5). It shows the tender response of her husband. It was not one of anger. He did not bang and kick the door down or shouted for his wife. Probably, he was thinking his beloved wife was asleep and didn’t want to wake her up. So he left quietly. 

This is a wonderful picture of the way a husband should respond when he feels disrespected by his wife; instead of angrily demanding respect, he should instead display his love for her in a non-threatening way: "Love is not easily provoked" (1 Corinthians 13:5). 

I have put off my coat; how shall I put it on? I have washed my feet; how shall I defile them? Evidently the meaning is, "I have retired to rest; do not disturb me." I can vividly feel for the poor husband. There were time after dinner, I felt like going out for a walk but my wife said: “I have just taken a bath; I don’t want to go out.” Well, I went out for a walk - ALONE. 

Is the honeymoon over? The beloved husband called for his wife, but the sound of his voice was not enough to persuade her to open the door. He called out to her affectionately: “Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my perfect one,” (5:2). Like a shepherd out late at night watching over the flocks, his head was wet with the moisture of the dew that covered the land that night. Yet for all this, the maiden did not open the door. She was simply not willing to be inconvenienced of dressing herself and preparing herself for sleep again. She also didn’t appreciate her husband was working hard to the night while she enjoyed an early rest. She was thinking only about her own comfort and not at all about him. 

Selfishness kills love: “Love is not selfish” (1 Corinthians 13:5). Selfishness kills any relationship. The Shulamite was selfish on this occasion. Conflicts do happen in marriage. The wife is too tired after all the housework. The husband is tired after a day’s work at the office. What they need is communication, consideration, co-operation, and compassion: “Love is patient and kind” (1 Corinthians 13:4). 

The Beloved displayed a considerate attitude by not disturbing his wife: “Love beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things” (1 Corinthians 13:7). 

May you always practice love in your marriage – Nail 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 to your door!

Jimmy Lau