But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel

Mar 10:7  For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife.

Marriage begins with leaving; a leaving of all other relationships, including the child-parent relationship. A man's full commitment must be to his wife. A woman's full commitment must be to her husband. The two shall cleave to one another in love. It’s the leaving and cleaving that makes a marriage works.

Leaving your parents doesn’t mean abandoning them. Paul commands that children are to take care of their parents in 1 Timothy 5:8: “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”

Instead, leaving your parents means:

1. Recognizing that your marriage created a new family and that this new family must be a higher priority than your previous family.

2. Removing your dependence on them. The two spouses must start to build their own nest.

The next step for a successful marriage is to “cleave”. The word, “cleave” means to “to glue.” Marriage glues two people together! They are to stick together through thick or thin. This cleaving indicates such closeness in the marriage relationship and that there should be no closer relationship than that between the two spouses, not with any former friend or with any parent.

We see that in a family there are two types of relationships. The parent-child relationship is the temporary one…there will be a “leaving.” In future, your own children will leave you and form their own family. Only the husband-wife relationship is the permanent one: “let not man put asunder” (Matthew 19:6).

It should henceforth not be too difficult to choose whom one should love more in the family. If the husband and wife are to be the only ones that remain in the house when the children are married to build their own homes, shouldn’t it be right that they cleave to each other in love?

Therefore wives, do not let the love for your children replaces your love for your husbands! Your children will shift their love from you to another person and their own children; they are never to be permanent in your relationship. Love the one who is going to walk with you until the end of this life.

And husbands, love your wives. She may not be as pretty as the day you married her, but she has given you everything. I have been married for twenty-seven years. I have come to love my wife much much more today than the day I married her. Such is the secret of a successful marriage: never stop loving each other: “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband” (Ephesians 5:33).

It is the reason God put the “cleaving” in marriage because at the end of the day, only the two of you will remain. Your parents had left you and your children are gone to create their own nests. “Cleaving” is key in building a marriage that will endure hard times and be the beautiful relationship that God intends it to be.

The result of this “cleaving” is one flesh: “And they twain shall be one flesh” (Mark 10:8). This is much more than just a physical union. This is about love, care and devotion. A husband and wife are a team. Each is to be as concerned about the other's needs as he is about his own. Marriage is a total commitment and that commitment must last to the very end. It is this “cleaving” that holds them together. So, work at keeping your marriage strong; cleave to one another in love.

Jimmy Lau

Psa 119:97  Oh how love I thy law! It is my meditation all the day.