Forgiveness is a choice

Gen 45:15  Moreover he kissed all his brethren, and wept upon them: and after that his brethren talked with him.

“Reunited and it feels so good.” Moved by Judah’s moving appeal, Joseph revealed his true identity to his brethren. The scene in which the sacred writer describes the reconciliation of Joseph and his brothers is one of the most touching on record. Joseph had been controlling his emotion and hardening his heart towards his brethren. He refused to acknowledge them and had treated them in a harsh manner. But now, all were forgiven; vengeance was replaced with tears. Judah’s speech broke his heart. It compelled him to make himself known and to acknowledge them as his brethren.

How does it feel like to hold on to a grudge? It feels terrible, right? That’s what resentment does to a person; it is a poison that kills the person who harbours it. Forgiveness releases the pain that has been mounting and haunting the conscience. I like this quotation: “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” (Lewis B. Smedes).

I think the brother of Joseph didn’t have it easy too. For all those years, they had to live with a lie they had told their father that his favourite son was dead and knowing they had sold their very own brother. Their conscience hurt them every time they see Benjamin and their father. Judah’s speech has this message in it: “We can’t repeat this sin again. We can’t do to Benjamin what we had done to his brother.” Today, they found relieve. They had found their brother and they could finally tell their father that Joseph was alive. They had found peace in themselves.

The world says vengeance is sweet; that’s the devil’s lie. Vengeance only invites more vengeance. Someone said: “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.”

Forgiveness is the sweet medicine to cure the world of returning an eye for an eye. Only through forgiveness can there be reconciliation. The result of forgiving a person is reconciliation. Joseph had reconciled with his brethren. He had chosen to forgive them.

God wants us to be reconciled with our brethren. There was a misunderstanding and the friendship has been broken. Reconciliation is bringing back the friendship that has been broken. Forgiveness is the first step towards reconciliation.

Forgiveness is a choice. We choose whether to forgive or not to forgive. It is also a choice between whether to live the rest of our lives in bitterness or sweetness. To harbor resentments is to live the rest of our lives in bitterness. Love is sweet. Love will result in forgiving a person. Reconciliation is sweet and peace to the soul.

Joseph chose to forgive. He let go of his resentments and found peace. He was reconciled to his brothers. I have found that the most unhappy person is the person who cannot forgive. He is a person who keeps holding on to his resentments and refuses to let go. You can see the bitterness on his face. He has no peace with himself.

Christ came and reconciled the world unto Himself (2 Cor 5:18). God chose to forgive the world. He made the first move by sending His only begotten Son to die for us (John 3:16). He has extended His invitation to everyone to come to Him and be reconciled with Him (Matt 11:28). The choice is now ours: do we want to be reconciled to Him? God has extended His hand; are we stretching out ours to shake His hands and be reconciled?

God also wants us to live in peace with our brethren: “Follow peace with all men” (Heb 12:14). Our Lord Himself said: “Have salt in yourselves, and have peace one with another” (Mark 9:50). He wants us to be reconciled with our brethren before we offer our thanksgiving to Him (Matt 5:23-24). It is hypocrisy of one’s part if in his mouth he praises God but in his heart he hates his brother (1 John 4:20).

Are you holding a grudge against a brother? You need to learn to love and forgive. You need to let go of your bitterness. When you forgive, you have peace not only with the other person, but also with yourself. Reconciliation is peace also to your soul.

Let us be like Joseph: be reconciled with our brethren. “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye” (Col 3:13).

Jimmy Lau
Psa 119:97  Oh how love I thy law! It is my meditation all the day.