A little girl once asked her mother, “Mommy, if Santa Claus brings our presents, and God gives us our daily bread, and Uncle Sam gives us Social Security, why do we keep Daddy around?” The little girl’s confusion is understandable. More difficult to comprehend is the level of confusion and twisted thinking over gender identity and roles and relationships that exists in the adult world.
In 2005 American author Maureen Dowd published a book with the provocative title, "Are Men Necessary? When Sexes Collide." Did I mention Dowd is a radical feminist? Incredible as it may seem to people with common and Biblical sense, increasing numbers of people insist we no longer need dad around, and that home-life and child-rearing is just hunky-dory without him. George H. Davies verbalized a thought that in past generations was deemed asinine (nuclear-grade stupidity) but now seems completely possible in this age of the so-called “new normal.”
Concerning fathers Davies said, “What’s all the fuss about fathers not being present at the birth of the children? The way events are shaping up, they’ll be lucky to be present at conception.” Sad but true in the current whacky- but-getting-whackier by the moment way many are thinking. It doesn’t matter that millions of children, not to mention God-fearing and happily married wives and mothers, along with a ton of social research data, would tell Ms. Dowd and her ilk, if they would listen, that dad is absolutely necessary! Necessary to help make a baby, but also necessary to partner with mom in loving and nurturing and guiding and guarding and providing for children through all the joys and struggles of bringing children to mature and healthy adulthood and independence. It takes a man to be a dad – whether the Dowd’s of this world ever admit it or not. And that’s not taking anything away from moms. No one can deny many dads are doofus-dads – distracted and dumb as a rock when it comes to what their children need most. And for whatever reason unwilling to shoulder the God-given role and work God assigns, ideally, to men who are fathers. But while true many dads (and moms) are “absent” from the homes and lives of their children, let us not forget there are millions of God-fearing fathers who still define their role and take their cues from God and His word, not from a world that is morally haywire. These devoted dads are daily on the job at their vocation, but also in their homes. They are too involved in the lives of their children – at home, on the playground, at school, in athletics, in the church – to believe and/or get caught up in the war of words over how useless men and fathers have become. Thank God, they have what Lu Hanessian (herself a wife and mother) has described as “daditude.” These dads know better than to buy into prevailing cultural and worldly “wisdom” (which is still “foolishness with God” [1 Corinthians 3:19a]) that children don’t need dad. Or that mom’s role and impact on the kids is somehow greater in impact and importance than a loving, full-engaged father’s.
Cultural confusion and sexual politics pit the role and impact of mom against dad and his children. But the simple and Scriptural truth is, whether a world gone mad ever admits it or not, that children need their mom and their dad and what each contributes to the child-rearing equation. Not doofus-dads but devoted dads. Research and experience testify God’s ideal plan still works when people work His plan. Thank God for devoted dads!
--Dan Gulley
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