Proverbs 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

Just because a man is married does not mean he has found a good thing and has obtained favour from God. Just because a woman is married does not mean she will be a good wife. A man may “take” a woman to be his wife, but is she a good thing?

It was the LORD GOD who said that it was not good that the man should be alone. And it was the LORD GOD who came up with the SOLUTION for this problem. He said, “I will make him an help meet for him” (Gen 2:18).

When God created the woman, He created her to be a “help meet” for the man. A “help-meet” is a helper. She is NOT a slave to him but one to help him in all the affairs of life, to love him and provide things useful and comfortable for him – to meet his physical, emotional, sexual, and social needs. These are the things the animals cannot provide to the man; they cannot meet his needs. But the woman can.

Wives, are you help-meet to your husbands? Being a woman does not “automatically” make you a “good thing”. A woman must endeavour to make herself a good wife.

To the young men who are courting or looking for a wife: Are you looking for a woman who will be a help-meet to you? The idea of finding a wife is pretty straightforward. The question is: What kind of woman are you looking for? Where do you go about searching for her?

“I found her when we attended the same dance class.” Marriage is not a ballroom dancing.

“I found her while we were enrolled in the same sailing club.” Marriage is not smooth sailing.

“We met at the baking class.” Marriage is not a piece of cake.

“We met while we were on holidays in Austria on the same tour group.” Marriage is not a vacation.

“We both love watching movies.” Marriage is not an entertainment.

It takes more than having the same interest to make a happy and successful marriage. And it also takes more than just a pretty face to make a marriage successful. My wife and I do not share the same hobbies. She was a runner, bowler, and squash player; I did none of those things.

Of course, a man can marry any type of woman that he takes a fancy on. She is beautiful and smart. Well, every man loves a beautiful and smart woman. Hollywood has a lot of pretty faces; but their marriages never last. Beauty cannot ensure a happy and successful marriage.

How about her character? If you know she is impatient, outspoken, independent, you may be in for a fight in marriage whenever there is disagreement, even over small issue. She may have a problem with submitting to the husband; she will think it is male chauvinism. A good wife is like Sarah: “Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are” (1 Pet 3:6).

How about her religion? Does she believe in God? Will she cause you to stop believing in God? Will you be happy coming to church without your wife and children?  

But if a man finds a godly woman, then he can be sure he has found a good thing. This man finds his wife from the wise teachings of God. The Bible explicitly teaches that God made marriage. There is even an entire book of the Bible—The Song of Songs—dedicated to expressing the wonder and joy of marital love. A good wife is a great blessing to a man, and it is a token of Divine favour.

Marriage is a serious commitment and is the second most important decision we make in our lives; the most important decision of our lives, of course, is our decision to follow the Lord. To rush into a marriage can be disastrous. To marry for the wrong reasons is disastrous too. The devil will try to play on our emotions and make us be attracted to the “daughters of men.”  Many have failed the Lord because they chose a man or woman over the Lord. Solomon's heathen wives led him into idolatry. Samson lost his eyes because of a woman, Delilah. David committed murder because of passion for Bathsheba.

Emotion and passion are a part of marriage, but by themselves will not sustain a happy and good marriage. If a mate is selfish, jealous, impatient, etc. this will affect your relationship adversely. Seek God diligently so you might find a good wife or a good mate. A good woman's price is far above rubies.

Proverbs 18:2 does not say: “He who finds a good wife finds a good thing” but “He who finds a wife finds a good thing.” I wonder why?

Perhaps, it is up to the husband to make her a good wife. Are you a good husband? If you are good, your wife will be good.

Jimmy Lau

Psa 119:97  Oh how love I thy law! It is my meditation all the day.