Jdg 14:3 Then his father and his mother said unto him, Is there never a woman among the daughters of thy brethren, or among all my people, that thou goest to take a wife of the uncircumcised Philistines? And Samson said unto his father, Get her for me; for she pleaseth me well.

How I wish all Christian parents will ask their son or daughter this same question that Samson’s parents asked him when he told them he’s going to marry a Philistine woman. They sought to save him from unnecessary hardship and heartache by reminding him that the woman he was eyeing was a Philistine. They suggested that he chose one from within their own. I’m quite sure his parents had reminded him about marrying someone outside their faith long before he knew about marriage. But, Samson had only one word: "Get her for me; for she pleaseth me well."

Many Christian young men and women choose their would-be lifelong partners mainly on the basis, “she pleaseth me”, meaning, “I like her.” It is physical attraction: she is cute, pretty, and so fun to be with. Few give much thoughts on religious affiliation, a factor which could have very serious impact and consequences after the marriage vow has been entered into.

There are lessons for parents and for young men and women looking for love.

For Parents:

(1) Teach your children what the will of God is in such matters. Teach them from young, long before they understand boy-girl relationship, about making the right choice. Tell them a beautiful marriage is made up of two persons sharing a common goal, faith and principles; of two persons becoming one mind and one spirit (1 Corinthians 1:10).

(2) Tell your children the consequences of being unequally yoked together with an unbeliever. Tell them the heartaches experienced by some having to see other families coming to church together while they couldn’t even bring their children. Tell them about the conflicts they would have to face with their unbelieving spouses every Sunday in trying to attend church.

For Young Men And Women Looking For Love.

(1) Listen to your parents (Proverbs 6:20-21).

(2) Listen to the word of God (2 Corinthians 6:14).

(3) Ask these questions:

 i.       What effect will a mixed marriage have on my faith? It is never easy to become faithful and participating in church activities in a one sided relationship with God. Many can testify to the fact that their spiritual lives have been made more difficult since yoking themselves with those who do not share the same commitment to God.

 ii.       What effect will it have on my children? Your unbelieving husband may stop you from reading Bible stories to your kids, pray with them, and bring them to church. Your children may never grow up to become a Christian.

 iii.       What effect will it have on my marriage? Like two oxen pulling in different directions, a couple who doesn't share a Godly foundation will clash and experience conflict. Your unbelieving spouse may have other plans for you and the family on Sundays; are you able to handle and cope with such conflicts for the rest of your life?

The prophet Amos asked: “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3). It’s a rhetorical question. Start the marriage with both going the same direction. Don’t choose someone just because you are in love. 

Marriage is about two persons coming together sharing their lives, and about the "oneness" that emerges from that union. A great marriage becomes a place of shelter, hope, and strength during difficult times, and a place of deep joy and thankfulness to God. If your whole life is all about Christ and serving Him, make the choice that is pleasing to Him – Marry a Christian!

Jimmy Lau

Psa 119:97  Oh how love I thy law! It is my meditation all the day.

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